Boston Marathon 2013

This has nothing to do with Sweden, but I need to write.

I try not to wear my heart on my sleeve. So many horrible things happen each day; it's fair to say that I've been desensitized. Most days when I read the news, I'm pretty happy that I can read the stories without feeling any connection. Today is different.

Have you ever been at the finish line of a marathon? I saw the word euphoric in one of the headlines today; I can't imagine a more perfect word to describe the atmosphere at the finish line. I imagine that the flood of feelings in the last few hundred meters of a race is pretty comparable to the feelings that overcomes someone as they begin to speak in tongues. The pain, the fatigue, the longing for the finish line, the mental anguish, the drive to push yourself even though you can no longer move forward - everything you've been fighting for the last 26 miles is replaced with pure elation in the last 0.2. The cheers fill you with joy. You push yourself past your limits knowing that in just a few more minutes the negative energy that has been pulling at you will be washed away in a wave of relief. Once you cross that finish line you're too exhausted to stay upright, but you've never felt so light. No matter how happy or upset you are with your race, you know that you'll be met with smiles and hugs from everyone you know. There are very few instances in my memory-bank that are labeled "pure joy", but every marathon finish line I've crossed gets that label.

As a fan, the emotions aren't much different. As you follow the race you see the relaxed face of the runners harden with looks of discomfort, then pain, then sheer determination. I've never been at a finish line without tearing up with joy - it's like the air is charged with some sort of energy and in some way, although you don't feel their pain, you share in their emotions.

Today as I read the news, every emotion that I've ever felt in connection with a marathon is taking hold. But today the emotions are different. I expect the pain and suffering to give way to the excitement of the finish, but today I feel the pain of the chaos being shoved down my throat. I feel sick today.

My heart goes out to everyone in Boston today - the running community will always remember this sad day.